The first 5 years of any childs life are the most important years of them all, how he/she is treated during these first 5 years will shape the adult your child will eventually turn into, the foundations of the personality of your child develops in these early years - how they go on to become a person, adult, parent are formed in these first 5 years. These are also some of the most rewarding years for the parents. Enjoy them, and your child, there are some areas that will need more of your attention than others the following may help you with those areas. Depending how a child is responded to in the first 5 years is extremely vital to the overall well being, self esteem, confidence, all depend on the first 5 years, everything your child sees in these years will remain in his/her subconscious and turn into either positive or negative attributes of his/her personality.
Birth -6months; Babies cry often but for a reason usually, they need to feel safe, secure, loved, well fed, attended to, it is not possible to spoil a Baby under 6 months old.
Crying; babies cry for 1 of 4 main reasons, theyre hungry, theyre cold/wet, they feel insecure/lonely, theyre in pain, check all areas if baby cries a lot, does baby have wind, teething pains, too tight clothes, not enough room, no stimulation, is baby cold, too hot, in wet clothes, dirty nappy, been sick. need to be winded. Whilst its not good to ignore your baby, its also not a good idea to pick them up at every whimper, youll soon learn which tone of crying is for which area, if you pick them up as soon as they whimper they will soon come to expect you to drop everything at the slightest sound they make, let baby cry for say 3-4 cries then pick them up check nappy etc, if all is fine they can go back in to their crib or pram and be allowed to cry a while, not too long, no more than say 2-3 minutes, rock the pram or crib this often helps them drop off to sleep, or play some soft background music, whale music is great for soothing crabby babies, theyll usually drop back off to sleep, perhaps they just want a cuddle or to hear your voice. Please note; a Baby left to cry for too long it will develope abandonment/rejection issues as an adult.
Babies can see at birth; so always look right at your baby smile at them talk to them soothe them sing to them, rock them, during feeds talk to baby, make sure you thoroughly wind them even breast fed babies, all will need to be winded, top and tail wash them in morning, and again after feeds, bathe them in evening before bedtime, always put clean dry clothes on them, and change them if theyre sick on themselves. Dont over dress, too many clothes or under dress too little, during first 4-6 weeks expect to get little sleep, and be prepared to feed on demand or 3 hourly, getting into a routine helps both you and baby, at about 4-6 weeks old baby becomes more alert to stimulation, they will follow you with their eyes. Their cry also changes from newborn to baby, baby starts noticing their surroundings more also what gets your attention.
Anytime from 4 months they learn to sit up usually supported at first, if you lay Baby on the floorhe will be able to move around and also lift their head and raise themselves up on the hands. About 6 months some Babies start to crawl, Never leave your baby unattended in the bath on the bed sofa or floor for a second, always make sure you can see them. They start to chuckle, or laugh roughly at age 4-6 months or a little later. 6 months: they fill out need bigger clothes, less feeds, can stay awake all morning or afternoon, plenty of stimulation in these first months helps baby to learn faster, and develop their senses too. Teething is usually under way by time Baby is 6months old, Most are sleeping all through the night at 6 months too.
Grand Parents, Dads & Siblings; - Let Grand Parents take over once a week for a few hours at least so you can pamper yourself. Also involve other children in helping you with Baby, Grandparents too need to be included, let your baby go to their home for a few hours each week. Or ask them to babysit so you can go out for the evening with your husband or partner. Also include Dads in evenings or times when he is at home, dont push him out, he played his part in the creation of your baby too, let him help out at bath times bedtime, all areas. Siblings will want to help you, so let them, dont stop them from bonding with Baby, supervise them when they hold baby, allow them to help at bath time, also try to find some time to spend with any older children, so that they wont end up feeling pushed out, include them in the daily routine, tell them Mummy will need to be shared now and that new baby doesnt mean you dont love them, give them a doll so they can mimic you, girl or boy, dolls are OK for either. - Including your older children will be beneficial to you and them, if you dont include them this could lead to resentment and aggression from your older child in the future. Toddlers love to help mummy do cleaning so give them a duster and let them " help" keep them busy and occupied whilst helping them learn, Its also good to give all children some chores to do, like tidying their room, picking up toys, putting clothes in wash, never tell them no if they want to help you unless doing something hazardous.
6 months - 1 year; so much is happening with your baby in this time frame, your baby will learn to walk, talk, laugh, run, play, share, squabble, fight, dance, jump, plus a whole array of others skills will be learned in this time frame. Always encourage you child to share, be nice to and play with other babies/children of similar ages, by the time baby is 1 year old he /she will be showing signs of independence and of having a mind of their own, he/she will also take their first steps somewhere around this age, if your baby does something like take first steps, praise him /her, tell them how clever they are and make a fuss of them, cheer, clap any signs of encouragement will be well received. Have a party for the 1st Birthday invite any little playmates. At each and every stage of your babies development make something special of the event or achievement praise will really help your baby excel, also if your baby takes longer over some milestone such as walking dont fret about this or try to force baby before hes ready, just so he will be equal to another persons child of the same age, your baby will do things at his own pace, no two babies will be the same in how they learn, but in your encouraging and praising your babies achievements youll be helping them to develope confidence and self esteem.
Anything from 1 year old is the time you want to start teaching them what no means, be consistent dont waver, dont say no then change your mind, or yes and then say no, you have to set boundaries for your child and stick to them, if your child refuses to take any notice of you when you tell him/her no, then start your discipline routine. I always used the chair, I would tell my son no, once , twice would also contain a warning, 3rd time that was it, he went into the chair and was excluded from all family activity until such time as he said sorry, this could be any thing from 1- 5 minutes, but he wasnt allowed out of the chair to join in until he said sorry, I persevered he soon caught on, at about age 2 I began to tell him why he was being put in the chair in more detail and also told him it was because he had been naughty. I wouldnt encourage chastising them by say bed with no tea or something like this, food isnt a reward and cant be used as punishment, food is a necessity, treats can be stopped as a punishment, but whatever way you decide to discipline/punish/chastise your child stick with it, always. Tell them what they have done that is/was naughty and why if possible. I found that by being firm but fair I got results. I never gave in, hard as that was at times, I knew if I did that once then that would be it small children are crafty, if they get same response enough times theyll learn, it may take a while but you have to let them know youre the boss and there are rules too, but not by shouting or screaming at them or hitting them, that just teaches them to shout and scream back. The tone of your voice can help them learn. Expect some tears when you discipline them and tantrums, stamped feet, screaming, pleading, theyll use every trick, ignore them, theyll possible strike out at you, ignore this too name calling, ignore it, screams ignore, threats ignore, theyll soon realise you mean what you say, but you must be consistent at all times, If you arent this will confuse them and theyll become even harder to handle.
2 year olds; Often referrred to as the terrible two`s, this is because they are coming into their own at this age, they also see themselves as the centre of their own universe. They will often have opportunities to interact with others of same age let them it will be beneficial to their development, you will discover they can be quite competitive they can show signs of liking, or disliking, another child, they will fight, kiss, slap, bite, hug, dance with, and all sorts of other interaction skills are beginning to form, at this age you can help them to learn to share, be kind, friendly etc, they will also have a sense of theirs, and may not want to let go another childs toy, youll have to gently but firmly remove the toy from their grip, saying thank you and good girl or boy, and give it back to its owner. Expect tears, stamped feet, tantrums, screams, and more, to avoid this you can teach your child to share with say siblings, other children of same age, if you dont encourage your child to share though you could end up having some real issues, and an upset and angry child.
Potty time; Children cannot control their bladder until they are 2 years old give or take a month or 2, although some have been known to be out of nappies much earlier, that I would think was either luck or reflex action to the coldness or hardness of a potty, so if your toddler is still wearing a nappy start to teach them to use a potty after theyre 2 years old, dont force them into it its not a race, mine wore his potty, beat it like a drum, everything but sit on it, but then one time he watched his Daddy and from then onwards he wanted to do his peepee in the big daddy pot, within 6 months he was out of nappies day and night, also put training pants on them at first, make a fuss of them if they aim in to the pot tell them how clever big and special they are make it a celebration.
Nursery school age 3-4 children can go to nursery school for so many hours each day usually mornings, its hard to let your baby 3 year old go but go he/she must its great and invaluable for them to learn about being without Mum being with other children their age, being independent, having an organised environment and more, it really does prepare them for Infants school.
Teach your toddler his name address and phone number, start doing this when he/she is about 2 years old, they might not be able to remember it to begin with, so you will need to keep at it, this could prove invaluable should you and your child become separated whilst out shopping or something. We cant be with our children 24/7 and as any parent knows children can be so fast, it may only take a seconds distraction for your child to wander off or be abducted, or similar, so in teaching them their address and phone number and to always inform you of where they are going and with whom you could be helping to save them from something nasty.
Teach your toddlers that they are always stay within the sight of a grown up if theyre out on a pre school outing, also to stay with all other children in the group, so that theyre not on their own. Its a bad world out there and perverts lurk in all areas where kids may be found or not found even, but mostly in areas children frequent, its not always strangers who take them off and hurt them.
Another piece of useful advice is always know where your child is at all times, also who he is with and their address phone number etc,check its a valid address and phone number too, you take them to the place and you go collect them, dont rely on another person to do this, or to be alone with your child, also ask the person to phone you if your child isnt where they are supposed to be, or if he/she isnt spotted for say 2 minutes or even less.
edited 17/8/2011 mariapike ©
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