A Violation.Or thats my opinion of it.
I'm Female yes, I definitely am, I would also say Im a very feminine (not feminist) type of female, anyway as any other female in the world will possibly tell you, our underwear and clothes are a very personal part of our lives, I mean really personal, we will only very rarely let even our sisters/best friends wear our under clothes especially. Therefore can you for a second try to imagine what it feels like for say your b/f to be found wearing your knickers, bras, dresses, nighties, you name it, it was worn. Could you begin to understand what that would mean to a Female, any Female.?
Well many years ago now I went out with a bloke, a big strapping 6ft 6inch built like a brick shit house bloke, myself I was about 8st and I'm 5ft 1inch, so you can I hope imagine what the differences in sizes were, humongous to put it mildly, well as time went on I would mislay items of my clothing and underwear, until one day I discovered that the person I had been seeing, 6/6 had been taking them, I would find them stuffed down behind chairs, settees, book cases all over the place, and all had been either destroyed or were almost beyond recognition.
I had words about this and told the person OK if he wanted to wear women's things fine, but leave mine alone, he didn't so I ended it with him, however I have to get it off my chest what his doing these things did to me, because I was effected badly in fact, at one point I stopped bothering to go out, or get myself dressed up. I truly felt like I had been raped Violated, I don't know if raped is the correct word to describe how I was left feeling for sure but raped is the word I would say closest describes it, it was an awful horrible feeling, I didn't want to wear my clothes anymore, and I ended up throwing the whole lot of them and getting new stuff.
I have in the past joked about this, but if I speak in total honesty about this it really did have a very deep and damaging effect on me, I didn't want to wear my own clothes any more especially not my under clothes, I no longer felt as if anything I owned was mine, I just felt dirty unclean even, as if I had done wrong not the person who did this to me, and looking back on it he himself didn't care less if I was bothered by what he had done.
When confronted about it I got the impression he didnt think it a big deal and that I was making a fuss about nothing.
Until recently I was still in contact with this person who would often go into stages of a psychosis, by psychosis I mean he took or takes illegal substances and at times he gets over paranoid and thinks the world is against him, (perhaps it is) it was during one of these psychosis stages that he sent me an offensive text message, which triggered off my memories of what he had done, I ended up telling him exactly what his actions had done to me how I felt and what it all resulted in, needless to say I don't ever expect to hear from him again, which also suits me fine.
I know and accept that there are many men out there who like to wear women's clothes, some just do so on odd occasions others do it on a regular basis, I wasn't against this person wanting to dress up in female attire, I just didn't want him touching anything of mine, he did and in doing so it kind of caused me to lose confidence in myself I believe. He invaded my personal private space, over stepped my boundaries, and that to me means he had no respect for me as a person or my personal belongings.
I'm adding this to this blog as part of my releasing it and letting it go not shoving it to the back of my mind like I had been doing.
The person in question has also never once attempted to offer an apology or to say sorrry for what he did.
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